Jokes Not Chocolate

For the transcript, see /Transcript

"" is the 8th episode of AniTales, It first aired on Greeny Channel in November 20, 2005, The episode was written by Christopher Sabat, and directed by Jeff Cavanaugh.

Summary
With a fierce thunderstorm keeping everybody awake at night, the kids are curious to know why Emily looks ready to attack Jack with a baseball bat. So begins a flashback story from earlier that day, when Emily's gorgeous guitar student ends up locking lips with Jack. Over the course of this crazy day, Jack ends up re-enacting with Joshua to entertain Ella, and Jerry becomes an unexpected mediator in Emily and Jack's latest spat.

Plot
Leafing through the mail, Mitchell notices that Jack's invitation to Joshua Zaltman was returned. He then realizes that Jack wrote "Hell, USA" as the mailing address. Jack explains that Emily told him Joshua was the devil. Jack then recites a list of things he dislikes about his grandfather: his big plastic teeth, his incessant screaming, and his lack of shins. Mitchell explains that Joshua lost his shins "defending Texas in World War II." Jack telephones his friend and invites him to the celebration. The day of the party, a Cadillac pulls into the driveway, a horse trailer in tow.

The trailer's ramp is kicked open from the inside, and Joshua rides the horse into the Mitchell's backyard. Eyes shining, and assuming the animal is a gift, Jack tells his friend how much he loves the horse. But Joshua explains the horse is being rented for only a few hours. Later, he gives Jack his real present: a 20-gauge shotgun. Outraged, Emily snatches the weapon from his hands. When Ella is unable to break open his birthday piñata, Joshua blows it apart with the gun. Emily thinks that Joshua ruined Jack's party, but Jack tells her that Joshua made it fun, much of Emily's dismay.

Emily asks Joshua to leave the house after he smashes her good dishes. But when Joshua attempts to start his car, the engine fails to turn on. Matt diagnoses the problem as a solenoid plunger. Emily tells Hank she wants the "short tempered foul-mouthed 16-year-old guy" out of her house. But Mitchell tells his friend he is welcome to stay.

Joshua takes Jack to a local bar, where he harasses waitresses with sexist remarks. Meanwhile, Emily finds the missing solenoid plunger hidden in a pair of Joshua's pants. She tells Mitchell that his father deliberately removed the part so he could stay at the house. Events turn even uglier when Joshua's sexist remarks begin influencing Jack's behavior. Jack tells his mother to get his dinner and punctuates his point by slapping her on the rear-end.

Mitchell admonishes Jack for hitting his mother. He then attempts to tell his father why his behavior around Jack is inappropriate. But before Mitchell has a chance to speak, his father reiterates the tale of how he lost his shins in World War II. After listening in awe to the patriotic story, Mitchell decides to drop the idea entirely. But Jack is sent home from school for starting a "sexist riot." Later, Joshua takes Jack to the Hotel Arlen and tries to buy him a prostitute. What Joshua fails to realize is that times have changed.

The Hotel Arlen is no longer a brothel but a legitimate hotel and is hosting a convention of female trial lawyers. Mitchell decides his father has gone too far. He tells Joshua he won't let his son grow up to be a "woman-hating old fool" and orders him out of the house. Mitchell later tells Jack that women weren't put on the earth to serve men, except he then takes him to a drive-in restaurant with waitresses on roller skates.